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" Beside the singing river,
There's a whipping willow sitting silently.
It's branches are old and tired.
The dancing eternal memories glowing dimly As forgotten flash lights on his mind:
The dreaming moonlight on his young branches,
The soothing melody of the footsteps of water, Beside his firm warrant roots.
A smile blossom,A love birth under his leaves ceiling.
The splendour song of life in his veils.
And now.....
The fatal coldness of the axe landing on his body."
I just wish I could scream.I Can't help feeling it.I'm so gloomy,so much.I feel as if I've lost something very valuable,yet I don't know what it.Whether it is real or a faked unpleasant feeling?I wish I could go,to any where,but do not stay here any more.My time is over.I'm not suitable for this world,this society,and this people.The time to which I belong is gone and my efforts to go back there is useless.It's so hard to feel as if I am out of my real place,as it really is.How tired I am.It's a very cruel world cruel.I touch this bitter fact with any breath I take.
I don't want to be here,in any case,any price.I just wanna leave.This is more than my tolerance,I'm tired,yet so restless.This time is hurting me,I don't belong it.I don't belong to such world,the world of lies,betrayes,and hypocrisy.World of incongruity.
I hardly find any thing to say.It seems as if I am helplessly speechless again.I hate summer,I do hate it.Here seems the sun is intended to burn every living creature,and the sky is so stingy to rain.I miss autumn,I miss the lonely allies where the leaves rustling echoes sweetly.The crows song,the cloudy sky,and the leaves which seem as if they are painted by a magical brush.Oh! good God,what a perfect vision and how early I miss it.I just hope to see another colorful,magical autumn.That's the ultimate hope I've still kept.
I don't know what's wrong with the people.How changed they are!It seems they know nothing,respect nothing,value nothing just go on living by hate.I am sick by them.It seems others happiness hurt them,the light makes them blind,and darkness soothes them.I don't know what happened.
I can't stay beside them,I don't want to.The purity is gone,just a forgotten word. No one beleves in beauty,kindness,and love.
Love is becoming a business.just for sell,just for trade.And when it fades they take it away.I don't know what they want of life,just living and living.Heavens!All the sweet things are stolen and no one would go and seek for them.
I was on a journey,hoping I could find the peace I was looking.There, for far from the noises of the city,where the rivers,springs,trees,and birds were singing happily,I was seeking for the light.Yet, I found nothing.Maybe I am convicted for the great expectations once I dreamt.Maybe I am sentenced being such distressed.Maybe it is my fate to be alone.I was wrong,reading different concepts did not help me at all,just leading to lose my way.
I see how this crazy world is getting worst day by day.I see how bad people are.I see there is no respect for the humanity any more.Every one is just thinking to himself and no other one."HELP" is a faked word to betray others,and the hearts are converting to stones.Heavens how tired I am.So tired,but I can't rest.For what reason am I being so severely punished?
I found no miracle.Maybe it would happen only once.By the way there is no reason to be hopeful again.All the hopes I had once are dead now.
It's been a long time since I have not updated my blog.I shall admit that I did not miss it,even I did not feel any nessecity.But now I feel I am more maturedYes I am really.Now I just know that I want one thing.I shall find the peace within myself,so that I could be balanced with the world.
Well that's all my life,I don't know if I am really satisfied with the way I choosed?I don't know.
I miss for autumn.I miss it's long grey afternoons,when wind plays with the golden wandering leaves.I miss for the rain singing in lonley allyes,and the silent sunsets long it seems since they've left me.I miss for the cloudy sky...Weare identical,both alone,as no one can touch them,no one can get them and approach them.We are the same.
I miss autumn,the multicolored of the colors.
