Hating myself

It's time to write again.I've had enough tolerance to keep silence,but now I just want to start writing the disheveled writting which comes from my heart.I am sad now,so sad and gloomy,but it does not sooth me saying it at all want to say more,express more,but the humble words are so poor to convey my feelings.The feelings which were kept pure,I dare to say so,because I used to control them so severely,I feel I've done some thing to my self,which will never be approved,some thing which can never be forgiven.I know what I did to my self.I prisoned,banished,and tortured my self by such unbroken loneliness which I kept doing it concisely,I did meant it,but I was wrong.Yet the only power which still approves it stupidly is my pride.Some times I can't help hating myself. All day and night I read,read and read.A chance to change will never be given.And the one who stands against my self.I know,I know I am the great enemy of myself. I just hate myself.