Where's the way back?

I am alive,still breathing,and looking for a reason to fight.The more I think,the less I can say my days are the same,or my feelings have very subtle,but undesired ones.Today I was thinking what if I go on with out any motivation.Is it really possible?
I have seen all hopes faded,all dreams converted to nightmares,and all lies hidden within kind faces of people.There is nothing I can trust,but God.But some times I can't help stop feeling that I'm losing His path,and what will happen then?
I'm lost in despair and confusion.Where is the way back to that peaceful lands of childhood innocence?
Why I left there?Some times I really regret my desire of exploring this world,and my long useless request of searching for the truth.The world of philosophy gave me nothing but confusion and uneasiness.