On his blindness

After those days feeling not that much bad,I came back to the dark and gloomy mood again.In such moments I can hardly stand those who really disturb me.Heavens, how hard is such task.It is when I ask if there is still hope.I feel as if I am lost in a stormy night at sea.Where is the pharos?Now I'm asking my self how muchI have been helpful?How harmful?I wish I could find a light in my heart to bright up this endless darkness.Shadows have filled my days,I need faith,Lord don't leave me helpless.
"When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless,though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker,and present
My true account,lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labor,light denied"?
I fondly ask Patience,to prevent
That murmur,soon replies,"God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts best
Bear his mild yoke,they serve him best state
Is kindly:thousand at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait"
John Milton