My grand mam's death.

A spring day,trees were wearing blossom of cheries,the sky,blue and cloudy was fascinating,the cool breeze was wondering around happily,and in such perfect day,my grand mama died.I can't belive it,I can't,I can't.Each and every moment I expect her appear at the door of my room,smiling.Still I feel she is downstairs,still I feel she's alive,so how could I leave her at the graveyard alone and cold?Is she really dead?
I've lived with her since I was 8 years olds,and all these 13 years are full of days being with her.When I go to bed,I hear her calling me and cry at myself she can't be dead.Is it a part of a nightmare?Is it a bad dream?What is it?How can such sorrow and grief be felt?I don't know what to say,when I remind her lonely grave.She saved my life,she made what I am now,and changed my life.I stand alone again,no one is with me,but dear God.My Lord help her.She left usin such beautiful fresh spring day,when the birds where singing happily and I was crying bitterly.
I always used to think about death as an abstract meaning,but today I saw it with my eyes.God,please stay with me,stay with me,I'm scared.I feel so lonely and cold that none of the warmest fires can bring me out of the kingdom of coldness.My grand mam is dead,I feel one of the bases in me has fallen,and all me is collapsing.
Something so kind and so warm has left me.Spring days will always remind me the day I lost her,the day she left me,the day life showed off it's other side by my grand mam's death.