Finding another way.

It seems that all difficulties has left me as soon as I decided to be my own self and stop wishing to be HAllaj or Shariati.Hallaj's story drive me so fascinated and amazed that I forgot my own self and tried to be like him.He was a great Gnostic of Iran who claimed as he was God,and it's a great sin for such pretending.People could not understand him,as they used to see by the eye,not the heart.He was God,but not the way people thought,he was because he had became one part of him and lost all the existence as Hussein mansour hallaj,and all the bad points of human and had became all God.I don't know how to convey my meaning,because this is something bigger than words,and imagination.It must be touched and tasted.Themore love gets stronger,the more lover would lose all his being and becomes the sweetheart's.It is what happens in east,and it's the most noble and true kind of love,and Hallaj reached the highest step of it.They had asked him what love is and he answered:"That's what you will see today,tomorrow and the day after tomorrow".He was hung that day,the next day burnt ,and on the third the ashes were gone with the wind that was his definition of Love by him very great and thankful lesson by him,left for those who wish to see differently,not as the public.I belive those who were to say so,did not know about how great God is.
So,I believe that I could not help myself stop loving and admiring him the way no I feel to be him in my own way,and learn what he wanted to teach us,take his massage and shair it with everyone who wishes to know and understand more.I wish to be successful in the way I choosed.